The House of J will not discriminate in any way on the basis of sex, gender, orientation, appearance, identity, ancestry, ethnicity, age (18 and over), physical ability, religion, nationality, veteran status, or any other characteristic protected under applicable federal or state law. Anyone convicted of rape, or sexual assault or harassment, or any person on the National Sex Offender Registry is strictly prohibited from the premises and from participating in any events.
The House of J and all events hosted follow a policy of active consent. Harassment of any person will not be tolerated.
The House of J is dedicated to providing a harassment-free experience for everyone, regardless of sexual orientation, fetish, disability, physical appearance, body size, race, age, religion, or other factors. We do not tolerate harassment in any form. Guests violating these rules will be warned or expelled from the premises at the discretion of the principals.
Harassment includes offensive verbal comments, deliberate intimidation, stalking, following, harassing photography or recording, sustained disruption of conversation or other activities, inappropriate physical contact, and unwelcome sexual attention. Anyone asked to stop any harassing behavior is expected to comply immediately.
Principals of the House of J and event hosts are also subject to the anti-harassment policy. If any person engages in harassing behavior, the principals may take any action they deem appropriate, including warning the offender, expulsion from the premises, or contacting legal authorities. If you are being harassed, notice that someone else is being harassed, or have any other concerns, please contact your host or a principal immediately.
Principals will assist guests in contacting appropriate authorities, provide escorts, or otherwise assist those experiencing harassment.
Any participant may use a safeword at any time. Staff may use safewords during punishments. Guests will respect safewords or they will be removed from the event. The safeword for all events are as follows:
Guests are the participants which are being served by the Staff. Guests should have an awareness of all House and Party Rules. Guests are encouraged to correct Staff during High Protocol service events. See sections titled Rewards and Punishments for more guidelines on proper corrections.
A Guest may bring an Exclusive Submissive. This submissive will serve the Guest exclusively. A Guest may share their exclusive submissive with whomever they please. Guests should refrain from commanding and punishing exclusive submissives that are not their own. Guests are, however, encouraged to point out broken protocols so that the exclusive submissive's Dominant may be made aware and act accordingly. See the section titled Exclusive Submissives for more details.
Upon arrival, Guests are encouraged to give the Host their Name, Title, Honorific, and Pronouns for a place card, so that staff may refer to you properly.
Staff are the service element of the high protocol events. Staff will serve all Guests during the event. Staff is expected to show up early and stay late to help with set up and clean up. Staff will work together as a service team during events. The Headmistress will deligate roles at the beginning of the event.
Staff is expected to know and follow all rules and protocols at all times during the service event. Staff may be punished by Guests for infractions. Staff is able to use a safeword at any time, even during punishment. See section titled Proper Etiquette Expected of Staff for guidelines on proper service.
The Staff shall be considered as belonging to the Headmistress. Treat them accordingly. The Headmistress grants Guests access to and service from Her staff, and She encourages participation in the management, punishment, and rewarding of the staff, but abuse of the staff or any staff member will not be tolerated under any circumstance.
Some events may have observers. If you are uncertain if you'd like to fully participate in the event, you may act as an observer. Observers may only observe. They may not interrupt any Guest, staff, or the service event for any reason. If an observer has any questions or comments, they must wait until the event has ended and clean up is complete. Observers may enter and exit as they please, but they must remain on the outside of the event. Observers may not sit at the Guest table nor may they use the Staff areas. Observers are not allowed to take any photos or videos. Observers are not welcome to any of the food or beverages provided. Observers may not change their role and begin to participate during the event, but may attend a future event as a participant.
All participants must chose a role and stay in that role throughout the event. Switches are allowed to attend but must choose and stay within a chosen role. Participants may chose a different role for different events. Roles must be chosen prior to arriving to the event. Please follow the dress code for your chosen role. No matter the role you are filling, you will treat everyone with respect at all times. All participants are encouraged to learn the rules.
Guests are expected to appear in formal or semi-formal dress. Formal dress may include latex, leather, or other BDSM outfits/costumes. Formal dress does not include gym shoes, sweat pants, tights, yoga pants, work out clothing of any kind. Any guest arriving not in formal dress will be asked to change or leave. Final say on appropriateness of dress lies with the hosts.
During Afternoon Tea, Guests are encouraged to dress creatively. Large hats, fascinators, and folding fans are encouraged.
Staff is expected to appear in black pants, black dress shoes, and a white button up shirt, or in a black dress and black dress shoes or heels. Other submissive gear can be worn under the formal uniform. The uniform may change throughout the service, as staff may be expected to dress down at the discretion of the Headmistress.
Staff must bring a collar. Staff will be collared at the beginning of the event by the Headmistress, unless a submissive is serving exclusively, in which case the submissive will be collared by their Dominant (see section titled Exclusive Submissives for more information).
A leash and/or wrist and ankle cuffs are optional. Boxer shorts and men's briefs, gym clothes, gym shoes, sweatpants and T shirts are NOT considered appropriate attire under any circumstances. Final say on appropriateness of dress lies with the Headmistress.
Staff will be inspected before each event to ensure proper dress code and all other protocols are met.
Before each event, staff members will be assigned roles. Roles may include the following:
Second in command to the Headmistress. The Head Staff Member manages the staff. They are the only staff member allowed to give commands to other staff members.
The host receives Guests. The host greets Guests, collects payment when necessary, fills out place cards with Name, Title, Honorific, Dietary Restrictions, and Pronouns, announces the Guest to the party, and seats Guests.
Wait staff waits on Guests. Wait staff will stand in wait for commands given by Guests. Wait staff is expected to serve food and beverages to Guests, as well as to clean up after Guests. Wait staff should make themselves aware of all food and beverages being served so they may better serve Guests. Wait staff should be aware of Guests' Dietary Restrictions when serving food and beverages.
Kitchen staff prepares the food and beverages. They also clean all dishes through the event. Kitchen staff may also be called on to assist the wait staff when necessary.
Roles may be added or removed based on event needs. Roles may also be reassigned during the event by the Headmistress. As such, it is important to understand every role.
Staff are required to know certain positions. Staff should know these positions by name and number. The positions are as follows:
The staff will not speak outside of the script unless directed to do so or asked a direct question. No matter what is said, the staff will ensure to use proper titles and honorifics.
The staff may speak among themselves but must keep the volume minimal and staff conversation must never interrupt or delay the tea service.
The staff will not address the Guests outside of the script.
When a Guest requests service, the staff will attend and assume position three. The staff member will then say
"How may I serve you, (name and title)?"
When the request is given, the staff member will reply,
"It would be my pleasure, (honorific).“
When serving food or drink, the staff member will assume position four and say,
"Distinguished Guests, may I offer you (tea brew/wine/food/water)."
When a request cannot be filled, the staff member will assume potion three and say,
"(Name and Title) we are unfortunately out of the (requested item). May I offer you the (available items)?"
When a staff member has been selected for punishment by a Guest, they will immediately take position one. The Guest will make the staff member aware of the faux pas and suggest a punishment to the Headmistress. The Headmistress will agree or ammend the punishment.
When the punishment is agreed upon, the staff member will take position five until directed otherwise. The Guest will then carry out the punishment.
The staff member will not speak or respond out of turn, except to use safewords. If the Guest demands response, the staff member will reply with,
"(Direct answer), (honorific)."
When the punishment is complete, the staff member will assume position one and say to the Guest,
"Thank you for correcting my poor ettiquete, (Name and Title)."
After the punishment, the staff member will return to their station.
A general rule of thumb with formal table settings is to use the utensils from the outside inward. At the tea service, Guests may find the following flatware.
Guests will find a tea cup and saucer at their place setting. The cup and saucer may be moved as comfortable for the Guest. A handled cup is held with the index finger through the handle, the thumb just above it to support the grip, and the second finger below the handle for added security. The next two fingers naturally follow the curve of the other fingers. It is an affectation to raise the little finger, even slightly.
It is faux pas to cradle a handled cup in the palm, or to swirl the tea around in the cup as if it is wine.
Food and Tea will be served from the right and cleaned up from the left of the Guest. Wait staff will arrive with fresh tea at regular intervals. Guests may request tea as it is served. They may also request tea from the wait staff when it is not actively being served. The cup should be filled no more that three quarters of the way full.
The Guest will be asked several things when being served tea.
Along with tea courses, there a three food courses at the Afternoon Tea.
Each table will be set with the following
Each tea service will be attended by a Guest of Honor. The Guest of Honor is usually the Headmistress, however, the Headmistress may select another Guest as Guest of Honor.
It is the duty of the host to introduce each arriving Guest to the Guest of Honor. The host will also guide each Guest to the Guest of Honor before leaving so they may be bid goodbye.
The host will stand at their station in position two. Upon arrival of a Guest, the host will assume position three and greet and welcome the Guest. The host will then take payment, when applicable. Method of collection will be dictated by the Headmistress prior to each event. The host will then assist the Guest with filling out a place card. The place card will contain the following information.
Name and Title
Once the place cards are complete, the host will introduce the Guest to the Guest of Honor with the following,
"(Guest of Honor), may I present (name and title)."
Once greeted, the host will guide the Guest to their seat. The host will place the card and help the Guest into their seat, pulling the seat out for them. The host will open the napkin from the setting and lay it across the Guest's lap, folded in half diagonally and placed with the long edge to the Guest's body. The host will assume position three and say
"The wait staff will attend shortly, (honorific). Enjoy your tea time, (name and title, pronouns)."
At this point, the host will return to their station and take position two to await more Guests. The wait staff will take over service of the Guest.
After all Guests have arrived, the host may be asked to joint the wait staff.
The wait staff will stand in position two in their assigned positions, awaiting command. The wait staff will be attentive of the table. A Guest will call for attention by holding up their index finger or ringing a bell. When called for, the staff member will move to the right side of the Guest, assume position three and say,
"How may I serve you, (name and title)?"
When the request is given, the staff member will reply,
"It would be my pleasure, (honorific).“
The staff will then fill the request as quickly as possible. The staff will always serve the Guests on their right side. NEVER REACH ACROSS GUESTS TO SERVE. Once complete, the staff member will return to their station and resume position two.
When fresh tea is made, it is offered to the Guests.
Tea will be served in position four. A tea kettle, a hot water kettle, and a tea strainer (if necessary) will be placed upon the serving tray. The staff member will take care to understand what brew they have. Maintaining position four, the staff member will move table to table, offering their brew with the following,
"Distinguished Guests, may I offer you (tea brew)?"
If a Guest requests the tea, the staff member will ask,
"Shall I serve it strong or weak, (honorific)?"
The staff member will serve from the right side of the Guest. Fill the cup 3/4 way up. If the tea strainer is needed, the staff member will offer the strainer to the Guest with the following,
"(Honorific), may I offer you the strainer?"
The Guest will take the strainer from the tray themselves and place it over their cup. Pour the tea through the strainer and then put the strainer back onto the tray before moving on.
Do not fill the cup to the brim. Do not fill multiple cups at the same time or pass them out. The staff member should not touch the cups when pouring. Serve only one Guest at a time.
Staff will offer the Guests lemon, milk, and sugar.
Offer the tea to each table before returning it to the tea station. The tea should labeled with a note to help the rest of the staff. The staff member returns to their station and resumes position two.
A Guest may request refills of certain teas. When fulfilling this request, the staff member will follow all of the same tea and service protocol. If the requested tea is gone, the staff member will check what brews remain then return to the Guest, assume position three, and say,
"(Name and Title) we are unfortunately out of the (requested brew). May I offer you the (available brews)?"
If a new brew is requested, the staff member will serve it following all tea and service protocol.
New teas are brewed regularly throughout the tea service and will be served with each course.
When serving wine, the staff member will hold the wine wrapped in a cloth napkin to prevent drippage. In position four, the staff member will hold the wine bottle instead of a tray. The staff member will move table to table, offering the wine to the Guests with the following,
"Distinguished Guests, may I offer you (wine)?"
If a Guest requests the wine, the staff member will serve from the right side of the Guest. Using the right hand to balance the bottle, the staff member will fill the glass no more than halfway, unless requested by the Guest.
Offer the wine to each table before returning it to the staff station. The staff member returns to their station and resumes position two.
A Guest may request refills of certain wine. When fulfilling this request, the staff member will follow all of the same wine and service protocol. If the requested wine is gone, the staff member will check what wines remain then return to the Guest, assume position three, and say,
"(Name and Title) we are unfortunately out of the (requested wine). May I offer you the (available wine)?"
If a new wine is requested, the staff member will serve it following all wine and service protocol.
Along with tea courses, there a three food courses at the Afternoon Tea.
The head staff member will announce the beginning of each course by reciting the menu to the Guests. Wait staff will work together to serve each course. Food will be served in position four, using tongs.
STAFF MEMBERS MUST NEVER DIRECTLY TOUCH FOOD OR PLATE SURFACES
The staff member will take care to understand what food they are serving and mind the Guests' dietary restrictions. Maintaining position four, the staff member will move table to table, offering their food with the following,
"Distinguished Guests, may I offer you (food)?"
The staff member will serve from the Guest's right, taking care not to reach across Guests. Offer the food to each table before returning it to the staff station. Take care to preserve food by keeping it chilled, covered, and out of direct sunlight. The staff member returns to their station and resumes position two.
A Guest may request second servings. When fulfilling this request, the staff member will follow all of the same food and service protocol. If the requested food from the course is gone, the staff member will check what of that course remains then return to the Guest, assume position three, and say,
"(Name and Title) we are unfortunately out of the (requested food). May I offer you the (available food)?"
If a new food is requested, the staff member will serve it following all tea and service protocol.
This will be repeated with each course. The courses and staff proceedings will be directed by the head staff member.
New teas will also be served with each course.
Pallete cleansers between courses will be served in the same fashion to food.
The wait staff will ensure that Guests always have water. Water will be served in a similiar fashion to wine. Wait staff will refill any empty water glass they notice immediately and offer fresh water to the Guests with the following,
"Distinguished Guests, may I offer you water?"
The wait staff is also responsible for keeping the table clear of clutter, dirty dishes and messes. The wait staff should be attentive to messes and clean any mess they see without needing to be requested. A Guest may request a clean up from the wait staff.
Cleaning is done from the left side of the Guest.
In case of a spill, the wait staff will tend to the clean up immediately. The dirty dishes will be removed and a clean setting will be placed.
The wait staff should NEVER place a finger on the surface of a plate or the inside of a cup.
Dirty dishes will be given to the kitchen staff to clean.
Each tea will be labeled with the appropriate water temperature and steep time. Too hot of water will burn the tea and taint the flavor. The kitchen staff will ensure that the tea is properly brewed.
Kitchen staff will ensure that all tea kettles are labeled to ensure proper service to the Guests.
Between courses, the kitchen staff will clean. Any dishware or flatware brought back by the wait staff will be washed thoroughly and dried immediately, then placed back among the clean dishes.
Clean dishes will be kept organized. Preventing breakage is of upmost importance.
The kitchen staff will also assist in keep the tea and staff areas clean, clear, and organized.
The head staff member is in charge of the management of the tea service. They will assist the Headmistress in the management and direction of the staff. The head staff member does not hold the status of a Guest and therefore cannot command nor punish the staff.
The head staff member will oversee the host, the wait staff, and the kitchen staff to ensure synchronization of service. They will stay near the staff area but will also respond to commands and calls to attention from the staff when the wait staff is preoccupied. The Headmistress will use a particular signal that is only for the head staff member to call them over in order to discuss the service and the needs of the Guests.
It is the duty of the head staff member to announce the menu to the Guests. This includes tea, wine, and food.
When the tea is served, the head staff member will address the Guests.
"Distinguished Guests, for the first/second/dessert tea course, it's my honor to offer you (tea brews). The wait staff will be around promptly to serve you."
The food courses will be announced as follows,
"Distinguished Guests, for the first/second/final course, it's my honor to offer you (savores/scones/pasties). The wait staff will be around promptly to serve you."
The head staff member will ensure the food remains neatly organized and arranged in the staff area. They will also ensure food and teas are kept fresh and clean by covering, cooling, or keeping out of the sun. They will ensure that the tea kettles are organized and labeled.